I can’t remember which grandparent gave my daughter a bean bag chair, but she loves it. It has Minnie Mouse on it and is just the right size for her little 2 year old body, so what’s not to love?
I’ve noticed it getting pretty grubby lately, but just did some quick spot cleans, because how the hell do you actually wash a bean bag chair?!
Today it had finally had enough and desperately needed a washing so I did it. I finally washed the damn bean bag chair. There are quite a few steps involved, but stick with it folks because the end result is worth it.
Step 1- Convince toddler that she would rather sit in the Elmo chair from the reading corner. Bribe her with snacks if you must. Pistachios worked well for us.
Step 2- Run to the laundry room with the dirty chair before she changes her mind.
Step 3- Try to shove the chair in your washing machine. You’ll figure out how to dry it later. BONUS POINTS- this involves quite a few muscles and twists on your part so it doubles as your daily work out- You’re welcome
Step 4- Accept the fact that it just isn’t going to fit in your washing machine. EVER– no really stop trying.
Step 5- Find the zipper on the back of the chair and tell yourself out loud how stupid you are for not seeing it before! Of course there is no zipper pull because there never is, but thankfully you have some random paper clips on the dryer.
Step 6- This step is going to take awhile so be sure you find a long show on Netflix for the toddler before you begin. Zippers NEVER work on kids chairs so you are going to spend the next 30-60 minutes with paper clips, pliers, safety pins and toddler friendly cuss words like ” Gawsh darn it- Son of a bit—Biquick,” trying to make the zipper work.
Step 7- Admit defeat and come up with plan C- You can totally just rip the seam open and sew it back after you wash it. Nevermind, that you failed Home EC in school and don’t even know how to thread the sewing machine. Those are minor details.
Step 8- Rip the stitches out with a steak knife because you aren’t even sure you own a seam ripper.
Step 9- Rub your hands down with dryer sheets and get out a garbage bag to dump the little tiny static charge packing peanut marshmallow things into. The dryer sheet will surely keep the static to a minimum right?! Yeah….about that….they are no match for bean bag filling.
Step 10- You are about to use some more of those toddler friendly swear words- Those evil little white dots will be ALL over your kitchen at this point. ALL OVER! The toddler will no doubt offer to help at this point. Just let her. What’s to lose at this point? You have a whole garbage bag full already so if she feels like she wants to be Elsa from “Frozen” and make it snow at this point why not?
Step 11- Get out the vacuum- you know the one that costs more than your 1st car? That one. Use the hose to stat sucking up the run away bits from the chair. If you are religious you may want to start praying to God that this doesn’t completely screw up your overpriced vacuum cleaner. You are going to have to empty the vacuums collection bin thing at least once. In the recycling bin outside of course. Toddler will also have to help with this part and you will no doubt end up playing outside in the kids clubhouse for a good 30 minutes or so.
Step 12- When you finally come back in be sure you throw the chairs cover in the washer and continue to vacuum the mess. You won’t get all the mess cleaned up and you will with out a doubt be finding the styrofoam filling around your home for the next 6 months.
Step 13- FINAL STEP– Plan how to put it back together. Maybe leave the stuff in the trash bag and stuff the whole thing in. OR Google ways to control the static when you put the beads back in the chair. Then get lost on Amazon.com and realize you can get the same darn chair you have been fighting with for the last few hours for around 15 bucks– that includes free express shipping * face palm*.
Is it to early for mommy to have a glass of wine?
CheshireMoon 